Because today I just sent off the transfer deed for my L.A. house...that's it, it's sold, I shall go from the skintest I've been in 10 years to the wealthiest I've been ever in my lifetime and have to deal with the glory and the nightmare of money, hopefully really soon actually because I've been overspending I'm afraid...I'm happy I think but still there's this kind of hole in my stomach where my house used to be, I did love that place and now I belong nowhere again which is freedom and loss at the same time...and my cats, anyone want them?? They're lovely and Manny isn't taking them along...
And I just sent out my novel again...to agents, we shall see how it goes. And my short story to a very cool literary magazine...so I need everyone to pray for me, between us all I think we have all major religions covered except for mormons and jehovah's witnesses and if either of them are the ones who have got the whole God question sorted than I might not want to live anyways, or I shall sell my soul to the devil in which case your intercession won't be needed...I'm most excited over the story because it's actually good, the novel's alright and represents years of escapist effort and might make me some money, so I've another hole in my stomach where both of those used to be, and my pride on the line once again, I try and try to outwit my ego but it's damned hard...
so that's me...almost all ties cut and new ones being forged and perhaps I'm a writer after all...
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